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December 25, 2001: Doing the Janus thingIt's been a quiet Christmas this year, as was predicted. My sister-in-law, with whom we usually spend Christmas Day, is in Florida visiting her parents, so it's just me and Blake. I invited a friend over, but she hasn't called yet. I don't know if she's bailing or what, but it's only 3:30. She might call yet. We haven't started cooking the Big Christmas Dinner yet. We reckon we'll eat at around 6:00, so... hum. The Christmas pudding should have been steaming for half-an-hour already. Excuse me... Okay. The duck should probably go in at around 4:00 or 4:30, so I suppose I should look sharpish on that too. But I'm still full from breakfast (at noon), so it's hard to get on with it. No rush, I suppose. It's been a lovely day so far. One of the first things I did this morning... well, the first thing I did was clean up cat puke. But one of the first things I did which I wanted to do was fold laundry. That seems bizarre, but it did a fine job of dispelling the unreal expectations I had of Christmas Day. By folding laundry first thing, it became simply a normal day, and suddenly I didn't expect it to be transcendant and glorious and thrilling, like it was when I was a child. Suddenly it became free to be just a day, but with presents and no work. After the laundry epiphany, I listened to Messiah on CBC Radio while I cooked oatcakes for breakfast, and sang along lustily where appropriate. Blake cleaned up after breakfast while I called my parents. I was nervous about calling them, as I have been since The Wedding Incident (remind me to write about that sometime), but it was fine. They both seem pretty happy, and I got to talk to Dave, which is amusing. I think they liked their presents. My mother's surgery was postponed until sometime in January because she had a cut. Apparently if you have a cut, you're dangerously susceptible to a bone infection as a result of the hip replacement operation. I asked her if she was excited about having a new hip; she's not. She's scared, because she says she knows all the things which can go wrong (she used to be a nurse). I told her that my friend's dog had a hip replacement, which perhaps wasn't the most sensitive thing I could have said, but it did cheer her up. She asked how it went; I said that the dog was fine now: you couldn't even tell it had been done. She seemed comforted by the fact that the dog got through it okay. Huh. My folks are weird. After opening presents, we took a walk around the neighbourhood, which is one of my favourite activities. "The neighbourhood" is the few blocks north and east of here, where Blake has lived all his life. Mostly we walk around and decide which houses we could live in; result: most of them. It's a great area, and I'd be more than happy to live here for the next twenty-five or thirty years while I raise my family. That's quite the opposite of how my brother and I were raised, but I think it's better, in general. Don't tell my folks: they'll take it personally. I'm doing the Janus thing, not surprisingly. This has been an exceptionally good year. I guess that seems strange, what with America being Under Attack and all, but that seems very far away. It hasn't affected me materially apart from some minor paycut action at work, and while I was very upset and shocked when the attacks happened, I'm pretty much over it now. I don't feel that my way of life is threatened, I don't feel that my country is threatened. (Technically, it isn't. Apparently Canada is pretty low on the bad guys' shit list. That's the way I like it; I will never again feel sorry or resentful that Canada doesn't attract more attention from the rest of the world.) It's something that's happening Somewhere Else. So enough apologizing for my unseemly happiness. Back to me. A good year, yes indeed. We bought a condo which frequently causes me to pinch myself and wonder when we'll have to move out of this lovely place which we're clearly only borrowing because I couldn't possibly live in such a glamourous and cosmopolitan home, and yet we can still afford to eat out once in a while, and buy appliances. We had our first wedding anniversary, and I must say married life suits me well, although I confess it seems very much the same as unmarried life, except the venue is better (see condo, above). Work proceeded as usual. In fact, if I'd written one of these last year, I'm pretty sure I would have said the same thing: I'm tired of tech support and I'd sure like to get into something else; the company is still good (although sometimes very annoying) but I feel like I'm in a bit of a rut; and I really like the people I work with. Extra-curricularly, I feel like singing is going nowhere fast, mostly because I don't practice. Also because I don't really have a goal. It's hard to tell if you've progressed when you don't have goals or milestones you can aim for. But I don't have a goal because I didn't go into singing with any particular aim or ambition. I guess I hoped a purpose would present itself as I studied. Looking forward, I hope that this year my responsibilities at work will change, and specifically, that someone else will take over technical support. At home, I'd like to practice singing more, at least twice a week. That should accelerate my progress enough that I can make a decision about what, if anything, I should do with my singing. Health-wise, I will drastically improve my eating and exercise habits this year because Blake and I expect to get pregnant in the late spring. I'd like to be ship-shape before we conceive; that means cutting down on sugar and fat consumption, increasing intake of whole grains and vegetables, and getting 30-60 minutes of moderate exercise every day (!). I've got four months to get on track. Watch this space. |